Monday, June 13, 2011

Pressing forward

It's like she just realized at that moment her hair was gone.


Clara had an MRI this morning. Finally, this evening her doctors came by to visit about the results. It is still unchanged since the MRI last week. What we know is she has lost the vision in her right eye; may be temporary, may be permanent. The tumor is intertwined around her optical nerve and is compressing more on her right eye nerve than her left eye. In an effort to stop more internal growth within that tumor (which may explain the loss of vision all of a sudden) they are going to start chemotherapy tomorrow instead of Friday. Surgery and radiation they believe would be too risky at this point. The HOPE is that the tumor will shrink and relieve pressure that her vision will return and lessen the risk of the left eye also being affected. And so tonight the good doctor will study up and determine which chemotherapy drugs to start her on tomorrow as different combos may be more effective. 


We are taking this all in stride and are anxious to start chemo tomorrow. We know that her body has been responding well to the chemo thus far based on her pain level and the routine tests that indicate a lower rate than when we first got here 3 weeks ago. Why the cancer/tumor in her head region hasn't responded is a good question and a bit baffling to the professionals. I'm beginning to realize that with the ups and downs we are experiencing this year, or whatever it ends up being--- time is going to go very quickly! 


Clara is such a good little patient and I am so proud of her. She is enduring so much and it doesn't seem to phase her. I'm drawing much strength from her. It is impossible to be down when she's so upbeat, happy and gracious (except of course when the pain isn't under control).    


I am so grateful, more than I can convey that Brian and I are blessed to have supportive parents who have been willing to step in and help to run the house while I am away. For me that is one of the hardest things to be away from home, not doing the things mothers do day in and day out. You almost don't realize how much you'd miss it till you can't do it anymore. I try not to worry, but it is a natural instinct I think. My kids are lucky to have BOTH sets of grandparents to look after and care for them and assist their dad. And Brian and I are lucky. So lucky to have them. 


This scripture has been in my mind constantly. I believe it encompasses what I need to do every day and really the perfect prescription for enduring any trial we experience in life. 

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. 

Grandparents Woodward served as proxy parents and took Kate to her ballet recital on Friday.
Her first one, I missed it :(

16 comments:

Jeremy said...

You inspire me, Natasha. Every day I look for your posts. They help me remember to be always praying for Clara and your family and they give me perspective. Infinite love and prayers to you and your family from mine.

tharker said...

You, Clara and your entire family are all on my mind constantly. Thank you for sharing your heart here. Much love and continued prayers for each of you.

Krista said...

I couldn't sleep tonight as I was thinking about the events of the last several weeks. It was three weeks ago yesterday that we were given the devastating and life changing news that tiny Clara had cancer. With our lives shattered, our hearts broken, and the future unsure, we looked to wonderful people, known and unknown, to help us pray and have faith for this little girl. We are now finding some semblance and understanding to our lives, our hearts are still broken, and the future, still unsure, but we know that Clara will be okay and that the sun will rise in the morning. Thank you for your love and concern for Brian and Natasha and their family. Your prayers and faith are truly felt.

Jan said...

The speed.. We are praying for the Godspeed..

Your words of - "We want.. whatever God wants" is complete humility and a huge reassurance that it will all work out!

http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ < this is the song I heard yesterday on the drive and thought of your family..

We are all here..

AmyDane Designs said...

Oh Natasha, I am so sorry you missed her first recital. It must be hard to have others be your eyes and ears for these moments. I will be yours this week at day camp and be sure that I will take lots of photos for you. The nursery children pray for Clara before snack time each Sunday. :) They miss her very much. Amy Cazier

Kris said...

Your faith and your righteous thoughts are helping you through this, and touching the lives of all of us. Your beautiful children are blessed to have such loving grandparents. We continue to pray and think of you daily! We send our love to your family! Jack & Kristen Gourley!

Brenda said...

Praying that Chemo goes well this time around. You and little Miss Clara continue to amaze me with your strength. Sending our love!

Jill said...

Krista is speaking for us too!

We are overwhelmed with the many prayers and kindnesses of so many friends, neighbors and community members. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Our hearts are full of gratitude.

Tracy and Jill

Jill said...

How could I forget FAMILY near and far. THANK YOU!!!

Shannon Lybbert Low said...

As an Aunt living too far to be of any help, I too offer my gratitude and thanks to family, friends and strangers helping to ease the burdens of Natasha, Brian, Clara and family.

Lisa said...

That's the same look that she had for a few seconds the day she got her hair cut off and she saw herself in the video camera. It didn't last long before she was laughing, though. I'll have to post that video of her and papa having a serious race. Too funny.

Mak Attack said...

Natasha, I stopped by your house yesterday and I thought you might like to know...it was immaculate. You keep a better house away than I do at home :)!

Cajsa said...

Oh Natasha, you make me cry. Nyah always prays for Clara. She NEVER forgets. And btw, we think you have great parents too...sorry we don't now Brian's but if they're as good as he is then they must be great!

Jenna said...

Clara continues to amaze me. It's not very often that a trial like this brings out the best in someone, but clearly that's not the case with her. And for you and Brian, as well. You are all amazing examples to us.

andrea said...

I helped Kate put in her tutu and get ready to go on stage, and thought of you the whole time. She looked BEAUTIFUL and did such a good job. What a cutie pie! I'm so glad it worked out to pit her in with Sophia.
Sending lots of love and prayers your way!!

LKP said...

thank you for sharing this scripture. simply beautiful. hoping the chemo went well.
::hugs::