for the record

I’ve often wondered what my mother’s life was like when she was a young(er) mom, on the frontlines of motherhood. Certainly she had better behaved children. I was sure she accomplished way more than I could ever hope to. How did she do it all? Because I can’t seem to get anything done!

This afternoon my mom called me on her way home from helping my grandma go through some things and had to read me from a letter she found that she had written after my sister, Candace, was born. And it turns out she’s normal after all. At least I hope it’s normal. . .

February 12, 1981

..........things are getting back to normal, although all I seem to accomplish in a day’s work is washing, meals and babysitting. While Tracy's Mom was here, Natasha displayed her adjustment to a new little one by screaming, hitting and throwing tantrums. She is much better now but she still screams at times....... If you are able to come for the blessing, would you bring me your book "How to live with your children and like them"? I've heard it has some good ideas........

I’m going to see if my grandma still has that book on her bookshelf. You can find yourself a copy here.

After reading this I’m realizing that one of the tragedies of email and cheaper long distance is the loss of handwritten correspondence. I’d better do a better job recording life so my daughters will know that I know “what it’s like”.

So, for the record, youngest to oldest, an update.

Clara has the sleeping habits of a newborn at night. She’s virtually a non-sleeper during the day so that means that the office has been in a state of disarray since I started “cleaning” it a month ago. Next month she is scheduled to get tubes put in her ears. Maybe that will help her sleep? If not, I’m giving up and I’ll quit making it a goal to get her to sleep longer than a ½ hour. Today she is 6 months old and has 2 teeth. Where is the pause button?

Kate, resembles the Natasha described in the excerpt above. Who knew? Whenever we get ready for prayer she announces “Kate’s gonna say it” and it really gets under Baden’s skin. I think that’s why she does it. Nothing is ever “I”, it’s always “Kate”. She’s also adopted some of Baden’s imaginary friends which makes things rather interesting around here. Oh yes, and she’s getting tubes again, next month also.

Baden may or may not be the reason I want to get my hands on that book. The thought occurred to me the other day that Heavenly Father sent Baden to us so that we could learn patience. It would appear we have not yet mastered patience. He’s funny though, so that is his saving grace. His current favorite song? Have a listen. No joke.

Carson pouted and fretted over his 2 liner in the Primary Program Presentation and then memorized and delivered it like a pro! He’s slow and methodical. Mmmm, sounds like someone I know. . . He’s also my right-hand-man. Willing to do most anything I ask him and gives a big grin when I praise him. He’s also a hypochondriac. Especially at bedtime so he doesn’t get much sympathy because by that time, my patience is worn oh-so-thin. Carson is also getting tubes (again) next month. Hopefully that will help his hearing. Merry Christmas Dr. L!

Chandler is a marathon reader. He acts like he hates homework, but I know he secretly loves it. When we quit soccer I was worried that he would go crazy. Turns out all he wants to do in his spare time now is play hoops with dad in the driveway. Why couldn’t we have figured that out earlier? It’s not uncommon for us to spy on Chandler flexing sans shirt in front of the mirror. So proud of those muscles!

So there you have it. All you never wanted to know plus some.

When mom's sick

it means we stay in our PJs upstairs and watch PBS Kids on the green couch all day together.

We'll deal with TV withdrawals next week.

blurry picture brought to you by the laptop

In our Home

Family Home Evening is often chaotic.
Family Scripture Study is usually short and sometimes sweet.
Family Prayer at times irreverent.

But, we're doing it. Faithfully. And that's what really counts.

Motivation to keep going and doing is always helpful.
Lately, I've found it here and here.

I love loud boys, too.

Especially when they are sleeping. . .
with fans in front of their faces.

Friday Lunch Date

My dad called this afternoon to see if he could pick up Kate and Baden and take them to DQ. And just in the nick of time, I might add. They were driving me bonkers! Looks like it went well. Fries and blizzards for lunch. Oh, the things you can do when you're the Papa.


Enjoy your weekend!

Choose This Day

Just what I needed to watch tonight. Thought maybe you'd like it too.

her mommy and daddy hope she'll keep those baby blues

I wonder if when I look back at this picture in 20 years I'll remember the 20 pound bucket of flour she purposely dumped on the ground, or Carson's school project she scribbled on and ruined, or her deliberate emptying of the clothes from her drawers every day.
Probably not.
I'll just remember how cute it was when she tells me in her high pitched squeaky voice:
"I'm getting meh-weed in the temple."

Guess that means I better not sweat the small stuff.
This too shall pass, right mom?

Can't stop thinking about this

"The reason we pray, study the scriptures, have good friends, and live the gospel through obedience to the commandments is so that when—not if, but when—the trials come, we are ready."

Elder Robert D. Hales (“Teaching by Faith,” Ensign, Sept. 2003, 20, 24–25)

This baby

is 5 months old now.
is being so good this week (making up for the other 4, trust me!).
is on round 2 of antibiotics for her back-to-back ear infections.
is so chubby.
is a cat napper.
is slowly growing into her cheeks.
is just plain adorable you can see why she is still the center of attention around here.

I admit there are many aspects of this stage of family life I'm wishing would pass quickly, but Miss Clara is not one of them.

Celebrating Carson

My smiley, happy to help, eager to please Carson turned 7 yesterday. He received his own set of Jr. Golf clubs, slip on tenneys, and a fishing pole complete with tackle box. Made all of us wonder if he was in fact turning 7. . . or 70. He's anxiously awaiting a trip to the fishing pond and the driving range.

It almost doesn't seem like it's really been 7 years since we brought him home to our South Bend, IN apartment and spent our first night home from the hospital without electricity(!).

We are so grateful for our miracle Carson.

It's been a sweet 7 years.

weekend notes

Saturday night found Brian and I on the dance floor at the Red Lion among fellow Chamber of Commerce members for a very prom-ish gathering. Cheesy? Totally. Can't wait for next year. We decided to save our change and skipped out of the "formal" pictures and instead took our own poor quality, face only, in the dark shot via the Blackberry.
And thanks to Grandma & Grandpa W. we left all 5 of our little dears home.

On Sunday morning, seconds before we had to leave out the door I instructed the kids to sit on the chair for a picture. Because I have maybe 1 of all of them together. And then I realized why I only have 1 decent shot of them all together. It's insanely. . . impossible.

When I uploaded the 12 pictures I took, they all looked like this.

I thought how appropriate.
It's exactly what our Sunday mornings are like getting ready for church--- without dad who is already at meetings.
Someone is always crying, or pouting.
Someone is always not focused.
Someone is always not doing what I've asked them to do.
And I think to myself, "Why do I do this every single Sunday?"
And then I remember.
Because it's worth it.
And I would not choose to have my 5 little ones anywhere else for those 3 hours each Sunday.
But that doesn't make it any easier.

Sometimes the biggest blessings come from the biggest sacrifices.

Wouldn't you say?

Time flies

We had a few minutes to spare this morning before the boys' ride to school came, thanks to our new routine of eating breakfast, reading scriptures, and having family prayer--- before getting dressed. So, I had time to snap a picture. Then I wondered, "how can 3 boys that make me so insanely crazy and maybe somewhat stressed also make me completely happy and content?" I'll never know. But this much I do know. They are growing up. Fast. Right before my eyes.

It was nice of Chandler to sit down and help Carson practice his piano (without being asked, I might add) the other day. Among the not-so-sweet moments of our day I'm grateful for the sweet moments like this that help us move along. Slowly moving along, but moving nonetheless.

It's happened. We're busy. Some days more than others. Soccer, scouts, piano, meetings, homework, and the list grows. Something has got to give. Much to the dismay of my children, it's going to be soccer. Reading this makes me think I can and should.

II.

Some of our most important choices concern family activities. Many breadwinners worry that their occupations leave too little time for their families. There is no easy formula for that contest of priorities. However, I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, “I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.”

In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. “The thing I liked best this summer,” the boy replied, “was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.” Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.

The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children.

Family experts have warned against what they call “the overscheduling of children.” In the last generation children are far busier and families spend far less time together. Among many measures of this disturbing trend are the reports that structured sports time has doubled, but children’s free time has declined by 12 hours per week, and unstructured outdoor activities have fallen by 50 percent.2

The number of those who report that their “whole family usually eats dinner together” has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.”3 Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs.4 There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has pleaded that we “work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”

He continued: “I ask you men, particularly, to pause and take stock of yourselves as husbands and fathers and heads of households. Pray for guidance, for help, for direction, and then follow the whisperings of the Spirit to guide you in the most serious of all responsibilities, for the consequences of your leadership in your home will be eternal and everlasting.”5

The First Presidency has called on parents “to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles. … The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place … in … this God-given responsibility.” The First Presidency has declared that “however worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”6

it's the most wonderful time of the year!

4 month shots

so her Texas cousins can get their Clara fix.

She misses you too.

We used to know a family who had several teenage boys. When the fighting got out of hand the punishment was that they had had to sit on a bench in front of the house holding hands. We
thought that was the best idea and mentally filed it away because we knew it would come in handy someday. Yesterday, Carson's pestering and followed by Baden's screaming brought to memory that punishment for fighting. Since we don't have a bench, I decided to kick it up a notch and have them walk down the street and back holding hands.


Haven't had to break up a fight since.

I love being a mom.

treasures

Water balloons, rocks and smarties wrappers. A sampling of the surprises that come with doing laundry around here.

Clara's first swim

she liked it.

Priest Lake 2009

(click to enlarge)

Next year's reunion can't come soon enough.
We had fun, fun, fun! Despite the cooler temps.

We've been back for awhile, but loads of laundry, yard work, tomatoes, catching stupid mice (AHHHHHH!), and everything else have kept us busy. Why is coming back to reality is so hard? My kids don't know what to do with themselves. Bored out of their minds. Maybe it's time for school to start.

before every family trip the car MUST be cleaned out

you know . . . to make room for the new crumbs as well as all the sand and pine needles we will bring home with us

It really stinks when the forecast for your yearly vacation to the lake looks like this:Stinks big time.

Clara @ 3 months

Where has the time gone?

Reunion

Yesterday we had a big family reunion. Those unable to attend were missed. See you next year!

I wish I would have gotten a picture of the belly flop competition.
Or the doggie paddle relay. (participants ages 7-50+ !)
I don’t even have a picture of my cute cousins who held and played with my girls, so I didn’t have to. I’ll return the favor in a couple of years.

But, I did get a picture of this. An aunt and uncle pyramid with Grandma in the front. You can see why we have so much fun together.
And this picture of my cheeky baby.

How about this one of my kids lip syncin’ and air guitarin’ it to Barbara Ann? Some like to perform more than others. . . Our family was embarassingly “out-talented” in the Family Talent Show.

3 observations

1.
apparently, finally, having your own room isn't all it's cracked up to be

2.
lounging in a bathing suit on the rocks is only comfortable when you're two


3.
the mother of this darling baby is

definitely not losing weight as fast as she is gaining

I look out the window and what do I see?

Oh, that would be my boys taking turns sitting in a dirty old bucket filled with water.

And to think I'd contemplated purchasing one of those big fancy schmancy water slides.

Sometimes I forget they can be so easily (and cheaply) entertained.